Why this, why now?

My mother-in-law is dying.  Lung cancer.  She feels sick, and won't eat.  It's been this way, off and on, all year. Chemo and radiation, and the subsequent pneumonia, almost killed her. She's lost almost 80 pounds.  My wife, an only child, lost her dad 32 years ago... the week before we were married.  She's hurting right now, struggling to understand what it means to be a good daughter.  I had a similar struggle as my mom was dying a decade ago.  Rough stuff.

My dad isn't too healthy either, actually.  His esophageal cancer seems to be stable, not growing.  Dad's doing heavy anti-oxidant therapy, no chemo or radiation (yet).  He's able to live by himself unemcumbered, as if he was fine.  I'm not worried about him.  I'm worried about my wife.

The t-bird is a diversion from this pain, something "to take my mind off the problem".  But it's more than that.  It's a reminder of God's grace to me.  A reminder that the pain of my past can be redeemed, that I have something very good to look forward to.  And, that it may take a while to get there in fullness.

I'm learning to accept and treasure the little graces I receive every day.  A call from my son, reconciling with a friend, dinner with my wife.  I don't want to take anything for granted.

The block and heads are at the machine shop, being refurbished the way I want them.  I just received the '57 manifold & carb I bought off eBay.  The transmission is being restored to it's full capability.  I, for the time being, have the resources to make this happen.   I can spend time scraping, scaling, sanding and painting the undercarriage.  When I get the block and heads back, I'll have the joy of deburring the castings, priming and painting them.  Then comes the joy of reassembly.  Little steps toward a little future glory. 

Even though I sometimes get frustrated, obsessed, and overwhelmed with this t-bird project, I find comfort in it.  The car was neglected for 40 years.  I was neglected too.  Things are happening to the car to change it, restore it, to redeem it from it's current decrepit state.

My spirit feels decrepit.  I need restoration and redemption.  Along that path, with a positive outlook, I may, in some way, be a blessing to those I love, to contribute to their own restoration.  May God make it so.

Color me Blue

Color is important.  It establishes something about the character of the car.  It also says something about the owner.  The restoration says something about the restorer.  What exactly do I want this car to say about me?

I keep trying to put off the color decision, or to pretend it's not important, but the time is coming when I need to buy paint.  Why?  I want to paint the engine compartment before I put the motor back in.  That may be a ways off... probably months, maybe seasons, but it does frame what has to happen next.  Oh, and did I tell you that I'm obsessive!

Here's the color that grandma's t-bird was originally:

 As my wife says, this is the color that comes to mind when most folks remember a  '55 t-bird.  It is a very "'50's" color, and I can respect that.  It doesn't mean I have to like it.  I personally feel that turquoise is an appropriate color for stones on a cowboy's belt buckle or bolo tie, but a little goes a long way.  To me, painting a car this color is an overdose of turquoise.  There are shades of purple that I find attractive, but I wouldn't paint a car that color.  At least now, as 50-something "adult".  Flames, maybe... but not turquoise.  By the way, I also drive a yellow car... I didn't think that was a very good color either, but it was what I could afford, and it has grown on me.  I'm not sure I want to give turquoise a chance.  If I'm paying to have the car painted, it had better be a color I want.

I'm really not bound by the color choice the Ford factory made 57 years ago.  I generally like bright colors, especially blue... just not this one.  One thing that does limit my choice of color is the interior.  The car doesn't have an interior now, and that opens up possibilities.  As a practical matter, however, custom interiors are very expensive... and reasonably priced pre-packaged kits are available in stock colors.

This brings up another point.... the seat.  Uncle "Packard" and others who have driven this car when it was new(er) have complained about the seat... it has a back bolster that hits the driver just below the shoulder blades.

55 seat. The bolster is in red.

Here is a shot of a red 55 and a blue 56 to illustrate the problem.  I sat in a 55 today, at a t-bird club meeting.  It seems OK at first, but I suspect that after 30 minutes or so, it could become a problem... at least for me, or my family.

The '57 seat has a different seat bolster arrangement.  I sat in one of these today, too.  There is no top bolster beneath my shoulder blades.  While the seat is still very firm, I think I could sit in it much longer and still be comfortable.  I'll admit that I don't think it looks as nice as the '55 seat above, but I think it would be more livable for me.  This won't be a show-winning car anyway, and rebuilding the seat in '57 style wouldn't be seriously altering the character of the car.

So, pre-packaged, '57 style interiors.  Compatible with blue.  What do we have?  Well, Porthole Authority is a good reference.  Here's what's available that might possibly work: white on white, black on white (see above), and blue on blue...  Dresden Blue over Skymist Blue.

Looks good on a white car... would it look good on a blue one?
Well, here's an example in Skymist Blue.
No early t-birds came from the factory in Dresden Blue.  I wonder why.  I could certainly do that, but I don't have a good example.


The closest factory color on a t-bird was 1956 Peacock blue, like the seat above, or these 56's.











 And this '55 which has been repainted Peacock Blue.  Lovely color! 

This is close to what I want.  But will it work with '57 seats?  Would it end up "too blue"?  Here are some color stripes, to try to figure this out.  The two stripes on the left are the '57 seat colors.  The middle stripe is '56 Peacock.  The righmost is '55 Thunderbird Blue, and the second from the right is the current color of my dash vinyl, which could be used as is or dyed /replaced to match the left colors.  Note that 55/56 dashboards are different than 57's, and 55/56's dash coverings aren't available in Dresden blue.  I think I'll keep my dash the dark green color, even if I have to replace the vinyl.  Click the stripes to see the color palette in Kuler.

My preferred body color is the middle stripe.  '57 blue interior on the left, original '55 interior on the right.  I'm thinking that either one will work.

Why am I agonizing about this?  Well, probably because I'm worried that I will make the wrong decision, commit a lot of time and money, and end up with something that I don't really like.

I keep thinking that I can reason this out, that I can control it.  I want to think that I can "win" by finding the "right" answer, the "best" answer.  I have a constrained budget, so I can't have it just anyway I want... I have to come up with an answer within my constraints.  Why does that chafe me?  Why do I always try to find imperfections?  What the hell is wrong with turquoise in the first place?  Does the shape of the seat really matter anyway?

I think I need to get out of myself a little.  To accept my own limitations, and recognize the wisdom of other people.  There are lots of people with a much more artistic eye than me, who might be willing to talk about color.

My Dad has offered to help me on the car, by financing the paint job.  This is a huge blessing to me, to have my Dad's personal interest and support!  It gives me a new avenue to relate to him, and I cherish that.  Perhaps I should just let him choose the color, and let it go at that.

By the way, he doesn't like turquoise either.  He prefers Peacock Blue.

Quench & Concours

Tech Alert:  This is a pretty techy post.  If you aren't a gear-head, you may want to skip it.
So, I spent some money on engine parts from John Mummert.  He's another great guy (this hobby is full of them).  I now understand why I have such a hard time reaching him on the phone... he really likes talking to people, and just doesn't hear the phone ringing when he's talking!  I've got to respect that.  He's got a small shop with no front door... he doesn't usually get walk-ins like me.  He and his small staff do engine work on ATV motors and y-blocks.  That's about it.  John sends y-block parts all over the world, but he rarely sends stuff locally.  Most local folks tend to rip the y-blocks out of their '50's Fords, and put in something newer, bigger.  But in Europe, the American Midwest, and Australia, they treasure their y-blocks!  funny...

Anyway, I  got a mild street cam, gaskets, stainless valves, springs, keepers, retainers, plugs/keys, pushrods, oil pump shaft... I think that's about it.  It doesn't make sense to me to scrimp on engine parts, especially the ones that go deep inside.  I'm still shooting for an honest 9:1 compression ratio, but Mr. Mechanic has measured the deck height at .025" (distance the pistons are "in the hole" at TDC).  Mr. Mummert says .065" is too much to shave off 113 heads, so I should zero deck the block (mill the block to make the pistons even with the top of the block) and only take .040 off the heads.  Zero decking the block is a good idea anyway with "quench head" engines like the y-block.  Mr. Mechanic and I are taking the block and heads to the machine shop tomorrow.

Minor tech diversion - I find this to be pretty cool!  A "quench" or "wedge" head, unlike a hemi head,  has a flat spot right above where the piston sits at top dead center, and has a "D" or heart shaped scooped-out combustion chamber off to one side of the cylinder.  Like this:

"Quench" happens when the piston gets very close to the flat surface of the head, say within .045, or the thickness of a composition head gasket (hence the reason for zero decking the block).  When the piston gets that close at the top of it's stroke, two remarkable things happen:
1. the fuel-air mixture in the cylinder gets squished under very tight "flat" space, and squirts out at very high velocity into the "scooped out" combustion chamber, causing really good mixing and making for a more thorough combustion... and more power (grunt, grunt, grunt).
2. the piston surface, being so close to the water-cooled head surface, has a brief chance to "quench", or transfer some heat and cool off during the short time while it is at top dead center... but it happens many, many times a second!

I'm not really ready to discuss the spiritual significance of quench heads yet... but I'm sure there is something significant there.

Another really interesting thing that happened this weekend was taking my son to the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance.  This is the premier car show in the USA, and probably the world... there is nothing else like it, only the best of the best cars get invited... and if they are competing, they only get invited once.  I was overwhelmed by the number of really beautiful cars there, but I was also feeling blessed to be able to spend the day with my son!  On the advice of "Uncle Packard", who has shown cars there many times, we arrived at 6:30 AM and watched these cars drive on to the field, one at a time.  For a car guy, the sights, sounds and even smells of this event are heavenly!  I took way too many pictures to post much here, but I will share one outstanding car that we saw (and heard): the Blitzen Benz!

The sound of this car taking the field was enormous, as you would expect from an engine with cylinders the size of small block chevys.  21.5 liters is a BIG motor in anybody's book.  It's hard to tell from this pic, but this motor is the size of a medium refrigerator. 

200 hp and 200 kph... pretty good for 100 year old technology, huh?  I guess going to extremes is really nothing new.

My son and I had an excellent day.  It has been a sublime joy to share our love of cars, to talk and dialog about something we both found facinating, and to both reflect each others enthusiasm.

I tend to think that my heavenly Father likes to spend time with me, in much the same way.  He enjoys my love of life, and my enthusiasm, and wants to share his with me!

Cars are created things, and each created thing says something about its creator... what they thought was important, their sense of style and balance.  When it comes down to it, cars aren't really meant to be possessed.  They are meant to bring people into relationship, to inspire awe and appreciation.  Spanning a century, the Blitzen has offered me a relationship, however brief, with it's designer (Julian Ganss).  What a remarkable person he must have been!

8/29 Update: The Blitzen at Pebble Beach is featured on Jay Leno's Garage.

Camshafts and Intentionality...

"Uncle Packard" recommended a friend, a retired mechanic (who also owns a Packard V12), to go through the t-bird's engine and let me know what's up with it.  Mr. Mechanic picked up the motor several days ago.  I saw him last night at Cruise Night, and we discussed the t-bird motor.  He has disassembled it, and has given it a quick inspection.  The bearings all look new, as they should.  The pistons are marked "40", meaning that they are .040" overbore.  The displacement of my 292 y-block actually 299 cubic inches.  Let's call it "300"... that sounds more macho!

My new mechanic friend is a delightful person, full of enthusiasm for cars and brimming over with experience and interesting stories.  Of course, they are only interesting if you also like cars.  He clearly has a good heart, a helpful and gentle spirit, and has followed his calling as a mechanic.  One of those rare individuals who clearly knows his place in the world, and is immensely satisfied to do what he is doing.  Peaceful.  Serene.  Fun to be around.

Anyway, Mr. Mechanic says the camshaft in my engine is new, but completely unmarked.  He can't make sense of what it is.  This is a problem because the camshaft sets the valve timing for the motor... in a way it is the heart of the motor, just like the motor is the heart of the car.  It's one of those key things that, when selected properly, pulls everything else together... and when not selected properly, will make everything miserable.

Do you ever experience things like that?

The camshaft controls the intake and exhaust valve timing.  This determines how the intake, exhaust, heads/valvetrain, and carburetor will work together.  Each of these things can be optimized on their own, but only the camshaft grind will pull them into an integrated whole.  All of my goals and intentions for the performance of this engine center on the camshaft.  But which camshaft to pick?

Here is a simple primer on valve timing.  The key parameters are the lift, duration and overlap (lobe center - smaller number means more overlap).  There is a LOT of info available online about different cam grinds for the y-block, and I'm taking my own crash course in valve timing.  A "big" (racing) cam can give my little bird a lot of power (with big carbs and headers), but it won't idle well and the engine needs to rev way up before it makes that power.  A "recreational vehicle" cam will give lots of torque on the "bottom" (right off idle), and probably be more pleasant for most people to drive, but won't make big power on top.  Mr. Mechanic says that hot-rodders tend to err on the side of using too "big" of a cam, enticed by the promise of big horsepower, but giving up torque and driveability where it counts (on the bottom end).  This in fact makes the car slower overall, as well as less fun to drive.

Mr. Mechanic recommends that I buy a new camshaft from a y-block expert (like John Mummert), along with a set of new lifters.  I need the lifters no matter what, and I doubt that it's worth the effort for him to analyze the cam... they aren't all that expensive.  The engine will remain in pieces until I decide what cam I want.  But, as you can tell from the above discussion, that cam decision will directly impact every other decision I need to make about this motor... what exhaust, what intake, what I do to the heads, etc..  It also determines how much peak power I can expect out of the motor, how "mean" it will sound,  how "lumpy" it will idle, and how much low end torque it will have... which is important for driving around town.

I intend to use the 113 "big valve" heads, milled to provide a 9:1 compression ratio.  I also intend to use a '57 intake manifold, with an easy-to-tune modern Holley 7150 style carburetor.  This indicates a  more aggressive intake duration and lift than the stock cam.  I also need to decide now if I ever want headers, because the exhaust scavenging they provide really requires a cam with a narrower lobe center (more overlap).  Headers look cool and add a few more horsepower to the upper midrange, but they tend to complicate maintenance, burn plug wires and blow exhaust gaskets.  I will probably avoid them.

So, you can see that the decisions that I need to make are highly interrelated.  My intentions for this car need to be clear, and as the restoration proceeds, I need to be faithful to that intention.  I mean for this car to be shared with my friends and family.  It can have a "hot rod" sound, but it needs to be "easy to drive", and especially easy to maintain.  My time is valuable, after all.  It will never be an impressively fast car... rather, it should evoke positive feelings in those who experience it.  It can be assertive, but never obnoxious.  Much like my Grandma.

That intention statement provides me with a lot of clarity!  Here's what I want for the motor...
An engine that makes the car pleasant to drive, using the stock Ford-o-matic transmission, with adequate torque for snappy passing on the freeway.  I'd like it to be a little more responsive than a stock motor, especially in the midrange (around 2000-3500 rpm), where the motor will spend most of it's time.   It doesn't have to rev much higher than 5000 rpm, but it doesn't have to idle perfectly smoothly either.  I will build the engine consistent with that intention, and select a camshaft accordingly.

-----

I know that God has a plan for my life.  I think that, just like the car, he is asking me to think through and articulate an intention for my life.  He is also asking me to make decisions consistent with that intention.  I'm feeling the weight of those decisions, because they are all highly interrelated.  I easily get confused, emphasizing one decision over another, and getting out of balance... "making things miserable, instead of pulling everything together".   When I am in this state, I definitely don't "evoke positive feelings in those who experience me".  I'm not like Grandma.


I feel the need to meditate on this question:  What is my intention for my life, and how will I rely on it to direct my decisions?  The answer will determine my own sense of integrity.

Heartless

My grown son and I pulled the motor today.

I am exhausted.  There were lot's of gotchas... including spilling oil on my driveway:

There are lots of stories I can tell about what got me to this point, but I was so caught up working with my son that I forgot to take many pictures.  Yesterday, he and I drove about 60 miles to a friends house to pick up a "cherry picker", or engine hoist.  While we were there, my friend showed me is 1948 Packard (running) and his 1937 Pierce Arrow (not).  His sense of humor and enthusiasm for fixing old cars is contagious and intoxicating!  We were fully ready to work on the t-bird today.

yeah.  well.  nothing goes exactly as planned.  Even though I told everyone else what I wanted to do today, I forgot to tell my wife.  She came back from an errand this morning to find the t-bird in the middle of the driveway on jack stands, an oil puddle growing underneath of it, and me running around trying to figure out what to do next.  Not a good scene... certainly, not good for anyone's serenity.

Many hours later, and several trips to the hardware store (for bolts, pans, de-greaser and kittylitter), my son and I looked with pride at the engine now cluttering our garage.  By God's grace, we had done it.

You may not think this is much, but remember what this car represents.  The last time I owned this car, my best efforts at restoration ended in heartbreak.  Deep down, I have considered myself a failure as a mechanic ever since.  This is a positive step, and in fact a very emotional one for me.  Cleansing.  More than once I needed my son to reassure me, to stem my anxiety, to hug me, to share the moment.  Strangely, I'm not ashamed to say that.

I'm not a teenager any more.  I have grown.  I have acquired a certain wisdom, and God has put this car, this reminder of my past failure back in my life.  I chose to accept it, knowing that it would take time and patience.  Knowing that it might hurt... that at times it would hurt.  I also know that something deeper is going on, but I don't know where it will lead.

I am one step farther down that path.  And yes, it has been inconvenient.  My wife has forgiven me, and my garage is cluttered... but it is satisfying.  And my son is sharing it with me.

God is still good.

Providence and 113's

A lot has happened today, but first I need to tell you what happened yesterday.  I need to start with a little retro-tech performance talk...  Please bear with me.

I've been obsessed recently about doing something to improve the performance of the t-bird.  Nothing crazy, but I want to spice up a little beyond it's lackluster reputation.  Y-blocks are small motors by American V8 standards.  The biggest they can be bored out to is about 332 ci, significantly smaller than the venerable 350 Small Block Chevy (like the LS1 motor in my '04 GTO).  My t-bird's motor is a 292 bored .040" over, so it's still under 300 ci, making less than 200 hp ... to push a 3000 lb car.  Kinda wimpy, huh?

I went to a cruise night on Wednesday, which happened to feature the local thunderbird club.  There were many little birds there, including two '55's and a '56.  One of the '55's was immaculate, with a tri-power intake... by that I mean "three deuces", or a "3x2", three two barrel carburetors in a row.  His was an Offenhauser manifold with three matching Stromberg 97's.  This set up is NOT the most powerful intake for a y-block, and it is very difficult to setup to run well... but it is amazingly cool looking! See for yourself:

It is very "vintage", a period-correct approach to high performance.  There is something inherently satisfying about that, attractive, soothing to the soul.  In a way, this is what cruise night is all about.  Can't you just hear the Beach Boys in the background when you look at this?

The '56 at cruise night had some more significant modifications, most of which were internal to the engine.  The obvious things on the outside of the engine were the FPA long tube headers and the Blue Thunder intake:

These modifications are, of course, not period correct, but the make a LOT of horsepower - about as much as you can with a y-block!  The owner claimed 400hp, which is an awful lot for a 55 year old 312.   This setup is also attractive to me, but it just doesn't have the visceral appeal of the tri-power.  Oh, also note the lack of power steering and power brakes. This makes for a very clean engine compartment, and the car really doesn't need them.  I'm keeping this in mind.

Anyway, all this performance talk got me thinking.  One easy way to get "period correct" performance on a '55 is to use '57 heads and intake.  1957 was the pinnacle of Ford y-block performance.  Competition with Chevy was fierce, and Ford was determined to stay in the horsepower lead.  In 1958, Ford shifted away from the y-block to a new, larger FE engine for it's performance cars... but in 1957, you could order a t-bird with a 300hp supercharged 312!  The "budget" t-bird engine was a 212hp 292, which is the same size but more powerful than the engine in my car, even though it has a 2 barrel carb and mine has a 4 barrel! The secret to this power was some subtle cam timing, a better distributor, but most importantly the high-compression, big valve ECZ-G heads.  Every Ford y-block in 1957 had them.  They will bolt on to any y-block, regardless of size or year.  For my engine, they would raise the compression ratio from 8.5 to 9.0, and provide much better intake flow, easily yielding an additional 25-30 horsepower!  The next best thing to "G" heads are the 1958-59 5752-113 heads, or "113's".  They are good for 8.9 compression ratio on my motor, flow as well as "G" heads, and are a little stronger due to thicker construction.  Needless to say, "G" and "113" heads are in high demand among y-block aficionados.  With y-blocks becoming a more popular motor for hotrods, "G" heads have become very scarce.  Believe me, I've looked for months - I couldn't find any for sale, let alone any I could afford!

Here's where it gets interesting.  Thursday night, just before going to bed, I decide to check eBay for y-block heads one more time.  Yes, this has been an obsession for me... I want to let go, but I'm going to check one more time.  There, among the older, less desirable heads is pair of 113's, with a "buy now" price that is very affordable!  I pinch myself, check the fine print, and start to realize that these are, indeed, within my grasp!  I buy the heads, and send a message to the seller asking for crating and shipping to my home.  I go to sleep thinking "God is good", and knowing that he has blessed me, even in my selfish obsession.  Amazing!

But wait, it gets better!  Late Friday morning I check my eBay messages, and find out that the seller is driving to my town for a vacation with his family, and is willing to bring the heads with him!  I call the number he gave me, and he says that he is on his way, and yes, he's bringing the heads with him.   All I can think is "wow"!  So, Friday evening I drive 10 minutes, and meet the guy.  He's a down to earth, humble man, who tells me the story of restoring a 1957 t-bird for sale at auction, because business is slow at his metal processing plant!  The t-bird came with these 113 heads, but the car is worth more with "number matching" heads (remember the "G" heads?), so he took these off, cleaned them up and ultrasonically tested them at work, and then sold them to me!  I thanked him profusely, paid him, and gave some coupons I had to take his kids to the zoo.  God is indeed good, and He is working on something both subtle and profound here.  I really need to think about this.

My vague and abstract dream of making this t-bird into something special is becoming more concrete, more of a vision around which I can start directing my actions.  I'm starting to understand more about the things I want for it and the things I don't want, to form an intention for this car.  I'm beginning to envision what I want for it's character.

I believe that my heavenly Father gets a kick out of delighting me, just as I get a kick out of delighting my boys.  He does this in ways that are unique, personal, and consistent with what he wants for my character.  While I don't understand every cause and effect, I don't believe in coincidence.  I choose to believe that God provides things even as mundane as 113 heads as a way of delighting me, using the opportunity to have me meet a very thoughtful, interesting and humble man, whom God just happens to also have blessed with a family vacation!

Heart Work

Pulling the motor.

Needing to do that is a sobering thought, as is requires an immediate commitment of labor and funds, along with a sacrifice of garage space.  Taking this step is an acknowledgement that the car isn't OK, that I need to take action, that I shouldn't just keep everything packed away neatly and work on it later.  It is messy, but a key step toward cleaning up the mess.  Taking this kind of redemptive step is something my family tended to avoid when I was growing up.  We had so many projects packed away "to do later" that we couldn't remember them all.  Things got bad when that list included fixing the clogged kitchen sink, fixing the back steps, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and washing the dishes.  I have seen procrastination turn very ugly... In the long term, I am afraid of it.  In the short term, I'm afraid to get started.  Starting a project in earnest is always unsettling.  Something gets disturbed.  People are inconvenienced, and it will be my fault.  Unsettled.  That's how I feel.

My Dad and I built a Heathkit color TV together when I was in Jr High.  The TV was pretty awful, and it cost more than a new already-built one.  Financially, it didn't make sense.  It was inconvenient.  We took over the dining room table for a couple of months. But, on an emotional level, it was the best thing he could have done for our relationship!  I spent many happy hours with Dad working on that TV.  Sometimes, inconvenience is worth it.  

Pulling the motor also risks chafing the aesthetic sensibilities of my neighbors.  My garage is pretty tight.  I will need to wheel the t-bird onto my driveway, and use a cherry picker to pull the motor in front of God and everybody.  I live on the corner of a tee intersection, in a very tidy white-collar neighborhood.   Every car that comes up the hill to my street has a clear view of my garage.  I usually work with the garage door open, at least during the day.  While a part of me is a little embarrassed to have my neighbors see my ugly car, I starting to believe that leaving the garage open while I work could also be an invitation for relationship.  A motor on a an engine stand is, after all, a guy magnet.  

So, if I need to spend serious time and effort reconstructing the heart of the t-bird, what is God telling me to do with my own heart?  I've known for a long time that there is something "not quite right" in there, that my desires occasionally run in directions that I don't quite like.  I have been in recovery for many years, and through God's grace have achieved a degree of external sobriety.  I've completed 3 different step studies, and I've learned something about myself each time.  I've surrendered, I've inventoried, I've made amends, but I keep coming back to the feeling that I need to address something deeper.  There is a valve seat or a wrist pin or a cam follower deep inside my heart that needs attention, something that hasn't been addressed in over 40 years.  My heart won't run right until I decide to let God and I pull it out together, and do a major overhaul.  It will take time.  It will take work.  It will be inconvenient to have my heart spread out all over the garage.  My family and neighbors might object.  I'm a little afraid of stepping into this project.  

But, it may create opportunities for deeper relationships.  It may even help other men decide to let God into their own hearts.

I choose to believe that God will be with me, that he will honor my decisions, and that in the long run, the time, effort, and inconvenience will be worth it.