Heartless

My grown son and I pulled the motor today.

I am exhausted.  There were lot's of gotchas... including spilling oil on my driveway:

There are lots of stories I can tell about what got me to this point, but I was so caught up working with my son that I forgot to take many pictures.  Yesterday, he and I drove about 60 miles to a friends house to pick up a "cherry picker", or engine hoist.  While we were there, my friend showed me is 1948 Packard (running) and his 1937 Pierce Arrow (not).  His sense of humor and enthusiasm for fixing old cars is contagious and intoxicating!  We were fully ready to work on the t-bird today.

yeah.  well.  nothing goes exactly as planned.  Even though I told everyone else what I wanted to do today, I forgot to tell my wife.  She came back from an errand this morning to find the t-bird in the middle of the driveway on jack stands, an oil puddle growing underneath of it, and me running around trying to figure out what to do next.  Not a good scene... certainly, not good for anyone's serenity.

Many hours later, and several trips to the hardware store (for bolts, pans, de-greaser and kittylitter), my son and I looked with pride at the engine now cluttering our garage.  By God's grace, we had done it.

You may not think this is much, but remember what this car represents.  The last time I owned this car, my best efforts at restoration ended in heartbreak.  Deep down, I have considered myself a failure as a mechanic ever since.  This is a positive step, and in fact a very emotional one for me.  Cleansing.  More than once I needed my son to reassure me, to stem my anxiety, to hug me, to share the moment.  Strangely, I'm not ashamed to say that.

I'm not a teenager any more.  I have grown.  I have acquired a certain wisdom, and God has put this car, this reminder of my past failure back in my life.  I chose to accept it, knowing that it would take time and patience.  Knowing that it might hurt... that at times it would hurt.  I also know that something deeper is going on, but I don't know where it will lead.

I am one step farther down that path.  And yes, it has been inconvenient.  My wife has forgiven me, and my garage is cluttered... but it is satisfying.  And my son is sharing it with me.

God is still good.