The fact that I used oversized 2 inch tailpipes didn't help matters. The heavy clamps for my custom over size slip-on exhaust tips made the problem even worse, and I eventually realized that I would never get the exhaust tips to line up straight until I lowered and aligned the bumper. The bumper was nearly an inch above the body flange...
Note the gap between the body and the rear bumper. There should be about 1/4" clearance, but this is over an inch.
From a distance, this misalignment isn't immediately noticeable. A critical eye might notice that the rear bumper isn't perfectly straight. Looking from the side, one may notice that the exhaust tips don't point exactly the same direction. Admittedly minor points, but slightly annoying. The bumper should be straight, darn it!
The car didn't come from the factory this way. I suspect that the same rear repair that replaced the trunk lid and bondoed the rear fenders also repositioned the bumper and re-routed the exhaust. Since the exhaust was now below the bumper, alignment was far less critical, and the car stayed that way for nearly 50 years.
Over the last 9 months or so, I've been wondering how I could easily reposition the bumper into the correct spot. I didn't find much online that was helpful. Last month I got some professional help from a muffler shop to re-fab the exhaust hangers and fix a few sound shorts. This eliminated the exhaust rattles and improved the driving experience a great deal, but now I was thinking about the exhaust pipes hitting the body at the rear of the car. There had to be a simple way of aligning the bumper!
A week or so ago I took some measurements and pulled the rear bumper off. It is held on with four heavy steel brackets. Perhaps I can simply bend them a little to make the bumper fit better? About an hour with a heavy vise and a light sledge and I began to think this wasn't a good idea. The hammer bounced off the bracket like it was a spring or something! Ok, maybe I need to borrow a torch.
This weekend I had another idea. Perhaps I could simply re-drill the holes where the brackets bolt to the frame? That sounds easy. I started by removing the exhaust tips and bumper guards, then clamping the brackets to the frame and removing the bolts.
By carefully loosening the clamps, I could slide the bumper down and back one side at a time until I got a uniform 1/4" gap with the body flange. Great! Now, how do I know where to drill the new holes in the bumper brackets? I carefully scribed around the brackets on each side, leaving marks on the frame. I first tried using a sharpie, but it didn't leave a good enough mark. With the frame marked, I took off the bumper and the brackets. Note how much further forward the marks are from the original bracket location.
Next I need a way of transferring the new location of the holes to the bumper brackets. Starting on the left side, I marked out a paper template of the bracket.
Then taped the paper template to the frame, lining it up with the score marks.
I could then mark the positions of the holes on the paper, find the centers, and transfer them to the bracket with a center punch.
All that was left to do was to drill the new holes! Easy, right? Well, my first problem was that I didn't have a 1/2" drill. Off to the hardware store. My next problem was more sublime. It turns out that these brackets aren't made of mild steel like the frame... Remember the light sledge bouncing off them? They are made from a kind of spring steel, and are very tough! My drill bits are all simple high speed steel, not the good stuff like carbide. The smaller bits cut though the bracket OK, but as I went to progressively larger and larger bits, the drilling got harder and the bits dulled faster. I ended up drilling the final 1/2" hole alternating between drilling a little, then sharpening the bit on the bench grinder! I'm certainly grateful to my high school metal shop teacher for showing me how to sharpen a drill bit!
By the way, there are four brackets, with two holes each. Drilling and sharpening through those 8 holes took over an hour, but I got pretty good at it by the end! My arms are pretty sore today. Needless to say, the deed got done, and the bumper is now straight.
The tailpipes no longer touch the body, and the exhaust tips can be straightened out. They look cockeyed in this picture, but they really are straight. I blame my cheap pocket camera... I misplaced my good camera two weeks ago.
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Why did I spend so much effort on the bumper, when most people won't even notice? Is this laudable "attention to detail", or just self-serving obsession? The unexpected effort of drilling those 8 holes has left my arms hurting. Was it worth it?
There are times in life when I notice that things aren't quite right. Sometimes, the "not-rightness" is rather subtle, and something I could easily choose to ignore. By not ignoring it, I might be setting myself up for inconvenience or heartache. Sometimes there is nothing I can do to make it right.
I was on a plane on a business trip, having a discussion with the man sitting next to me when I noticed that something wasn't quite right. He let fall a concern with traveling, and hinted at some trouble at home. I opened up to him about my recovery from porn addiction. We were both going to be in the same city for a few days, and he was concerned about maintaining his sexual sobriety. Before we got off the plane, we agreed to meet for dinner the next evening, and go to a Celebrate Recovery meeting together. While this may not have made everything right, it encouraged us both!
A relative of mine is a widow struggling to regain custody of her young children. That is definitely "not quite right"! I've been casually reaching out to her for months, and last week she desperately reached back to me. Her problems are not a thing that I can fix. The more I learn about her situation, the more helpless I feel. Still, I feel compelled to notice, to engage, to console her as best I can.
Her bumpers may never line up. Even if I run out of ideas, however, I won't walk away. I won't ignore the problem or the pain. That's just not the man I want to be.
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