It's been two weeks since I posted. During that time, I went through a trough in my motivation. I knew I had to spend some money on the car, and I didn't want to. I started to wonder how long this project would take, and if it was even worth it. At the same time, I've been making a transition at work, and having motivational issues there as well. My old feelings of inadequacy seem to be coming back. I started having unpleasant, confusing dreams featuring frustration and shame.
While I still wrestle with inadequacy, somehow I did muster the nerve to order the next round of parts. Uncle Packard's financial support and enthusiasm, discussed in my last post, helped me take that step.
Last Thursday, I went back to the body shop. Body guy had been busy, and the body has been stripped. Sorry about these crappy cell-phone pictures...
Looking at the car this way, without the rust and patchwork of green paint and primer, I finally can start to envision how gorgeous this car will eventually be! It might be harder for you readers, but for me, standing in the shop, it was an ephiphany. This car CAN be beautiful, after all! This very car, the one I longed for and dreamed about so long ago, the one that focused all my frustration, the one I abandoned, neglected, rejected...
Maybe there is hope for me after all. Like this car, perhaps my perceived inadequacy is really a temporary condition.
I can relate! Looks like we hit the same proverbial wall in our progress. I too didn't want to get out the pocketbook but I found out this week that my year end bonus was $1K higher than I thought it would be. God never gives us more than we can handle...I hope the time away gave you a chance to reflect how far you've come. I am seriously impressed with how far along you are in such a short period of time. Kudos!
ReplyDelete