Fully Ready

For the last four months or so, I've been looking forward to driving "Nell" to the Classic Thunderbird Club International regional convention with my #1 son.  The convention is coming up this week, and my son and I are pretty pumped up about it!  We will be driving Nell over 500 miles up the coast highway to get there, so it's important that she be in tip-top condition.

This summer I have taken Nell to several cruise nights, and she has been a reliable ride.  I figured she was really ready for this long trip.  Last Sunday, after taking my sweetheart out for a cup of coffee, I got out of the car and noticed drops of water appearing on the ground in front of the bumper!  It looked like it was raining, but just in a very small patch immediately in front of the car, and the bumper was also wet.  Kneeling down for a closer look, it became clear that the radiator had sprung a pinhole leak!  Bummer!  I guess she isn't ready after all.  The radiator is pretty old, and probably should have been replaced a year ago... but I was too eager to get the car together.  I thought I could get by with the old radiator.

Monday I was on the phone with T-bird parts houses trying desperately to find a radiator that I could get in a few days.  On the third try, I found one in my state.  When I came home from work on Tuesday, the new radiator had arrived!  I got a heavy duty 4-row copper version, which should have a little extra cooling capacity.

I had Friday off, so bright and early I pulled the old radiator and started cleaning up the engine compartment.  This is much easier to do with the radiator and fan removed. 

The before picture, after I drained the radiator.

Taking the shrouds off is pretty easy.  The rust stains on the radiator came from an ill-fitting cap that I used when I first assembled the car last year.

The upper shroud showed some rust after I pulled off the old rubber strip.  I repainted the shroud, and installed new rubber.

The new radiator is just a little thicker, with an additional row of tubes.

I repainted the upper shroud gloss black.  While paint was in the gun, I painted the aftermarket 6-blade fan as well.  Then, on a lark, I decided to paint the tips of the fan yellow, like a WWII fighter plane!  I'd seen pictures of another t-bird that had this done, and I thought it looked cool.   The tips of warplane props were painted a bright color so that ground crews could see where the danger circle was when the engines were running.  This seems like a good idea for a car engine, too.  It also is my own way of paying homage to Uncle Toronado, the WWII P38 pilot that owned this car for 20 years.

The engine compartment. detailed and reassembled.

Here are a few victory shots.  Nell looks great, and is a genuine blast to drive.  I'm really looking forward to the trip with my Son this week, and being around other t-birders for a few days!

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At my recovery meeting last week, the lesson was on Step 6... "being fully ready for God to remove all our defects of character".  It's easy to think I am ready, and another thing to be fully ready.  God has a remarkable way of reminding me of my lack of readiness.  A lingering stare that could turn to lust, a lingering attitude or entitlement... these are like pinhole leaks in my radiator.  Am I fully ready to let God fix me, to replace a part of me.  Do I cringe at the cost of the repair, or do I move out in faith?

I had to let go of something this week that was holding me back from being fully ready.  It may not be the only thing, but I'm just a little closer to being the man I want to be.  The man I think God wants me to be.

Return to Skygazing?

My telescope under the milky way... very inviting!  The streak in the lower right is a meteor.
Note the small guide scope mounted above the main tube.

 OK, this isn't a post about a car.  It's about one of my other passions, and it reveals something else about me.  I hope that you, the reader, will find it engaging.

Dad didn't leave my siblings and me a large inheritance, but he did leave us something.  I was able to buy my dear wife a beautiful and comfortable new crossover SUV, and my sister was able to buy herself a premium used convertible hardtop.  Somehow buying cars with "Dad's money" seems appropriate, especially ones that we will enjoy.  He did like cars.

There was enough left over that I started thinking about getting myself something special from Dad.  I thought this seemed selfish at first, since Dad paid for the paint on the t-bird... but there are other things about Dad that I'd like to honor and remember.

I remember when Dad went "half-sies" with me to buy my first telescope in Jr. High.  I had to save my allowance for several months, then we went to Fedco and picked up a Tasco 4 1/2" reflector on an equatorial mount.  I thought it was glorious, and it opened up a whole new world for me.  Dad remembered some of his Boy Scout astronomy, which wasn't very helpful.  I pretty much figured out the telescope by myself.

We would haul the telescope up to the roof of the house and set it up to look at the moon and planets.  We took it to the mountains, and looked at the stars.  I didn't know the sky very well, and I didn't have good star charts, but I had fun.  I think Dad enjoyed it too, or at least he enjoyed my enthusiasm.

I've since moved on through a series of much better telescopes, and I know the sky reasonably well.  I have tried my hand at astrophotography, first with film and then with DSLRs.  Dad never "caught the bug" for astrophotography, but he seemed to enjoy my efforts.

M8 (Lagoon Nebula) on the left, M20 (Trifid Nebula) on the right.  This is a stack of 6 x 5 minute DSLR exposures, requiring me to keep a star centered in the eyepiece of a guide scope for a total of 30 minutes.  Painful.

I realized that I wasn't going to get better at astrophotography without some improvements in equipment.  My Astro-Physics Traveler telescope is very good, but my Vixen Super Polaris mount is very old-school.  It has a clock drive, but it still requires manual guiding using a small auxiliary telescope when taking astrophotos.  Keeping a dim star centered in the crosshairs of a guide scope for an extended period of time isn't really much fun.  Modern mounts have the ability to use an "autoguider", or camera and processor that send drive corrections directly to the mount without human intervention.  Oh, and they have computerized controls and GPS which makes them much easier to set up and align.  I've been thinking about getting a new mount and autoguider for years, but could never justify the cost.

In mid-July a local telescope store held an astronomy expo in their parking lot, and put most of their inventory on sale.  On a lark, I decided to "just see what they had", but deep down I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted.  I came home with a new mount, autoguider, and guidescope... and significantly less money in the inheritance fund!

Normally, I really dislike spending money.  Dad clearly didn't like spending it either.  Still, I feel good about this... I feel like the stars are calling me back.  I really did get a good deal on this equipment, and I expect it to serve me well for the rest of my life.

There is something about looking at the stars that calms my soul.  It gives me perspective.  It fills me with awe, and makes me feel closer to God.

Photography is about capturing images that touch our hearts.  It seems logical and right for me to extend that practice to the night sky, which has grown to mean so much to me over the years.  I think that's why I invest myself in this most exacting, most complex of photographic pursuits.  It lets me share something that has become quite dear to me.  I think Dad would approve.

Automotive Ambassador

The evening after my last post (8 July), my wife and I drove "Nell" to church.  There I gave a presentation about Christian Recovery to a group of Stephen Ministers.  My wife and I have been Stephen Ministers for over a decade.  It took 6 months of training before we were each commissioned, and we served actively as caregivers for 2 years.  We have each had a variety of care assignments, both formal and informal, and we have continued to be active in training new groups of Stephen Ministers.  Needless to say, we are both committed to active Christian one-on-one care giving.

It was a blessing to give my testimony and discuss the reality of addiction with a group of genuinely caring, supportive individuals.  After telling my story, much of which I have related in this blog, I was able to clearly describe the importance of walking alongside someone who is working through the first three steps of recovery.  I was able to talk about recovery in terms of faith: Redemption, Transformation, and Sanctification.  I was able to explain why, at least for me, recovery is a life-long process that requires a daily statement of intention.  I was able to explain why my relationship with God is a key part of being able to make this daily commitment.

I was also able to talk about car restoration as an analog to recovery, and to describe the particular importance I placed on the old hunk of blue painted metal and chrome that was sitting just outside the chapel where I was speaking.  In the midst of difficult decisions or disappointments, sometimes I just needed someone to calmly listen, to help me explore and understand my own thinking, and to facilitate my own action, change, or acceptance.

Don't get me wrong... there are times when addiction is brutal, and self-exploration isn't even possible.  That's when boundaries are important, and invasive treatment may be required.  But after sobriety comes the difficult decision... who do I want to be?  Who do I want to trust?  That's the pivotal point where a little encouragement by a non-anxious presence can do the most good.  That's when the real commitment to recovery begins.

Stephen Ministry is not a substitute for formal 12-step programs.  A Stephen Minister is not a "Sponsor", but just someone to come alongside to talk and pray.  I need my recovery meetings and my 12-step.  But I also need my broader community of faith, and the variety of one-on-one relationships God puts in my life.

My #1 Son and I are planning on driving Nell to a CTCI regional meet in a few weeks.  It will be a long trip, but I'm really looking forward to it.  I thought the car was ready, but this morning I noticed a pinhole leak in the radiator after I drove my wife to get coffee!  Bummer.  I'm hoping that I can get this repaired next weekend.

I also got a new camera, so I can resume documenting Nell's progress and experiences in this blog.  Hopefully next week I can post a story about installing the new radiator.

Recognizing the Miracle of Grace

I don't spend near enough effort thinking about the really cool things that happen to me.  I tend to take my situation for granted, either good or bad, and carry on in my own little world.  It occurs to me that in order to really live in the moment, however, I need to recognize the true weight or significance of what is happening.

Here's an example.  The t-bird was a non-functional, ugly, smelly mess when I moved it into my garage just over 2 years ago:

Here's what it looked like last Thursday:

It has been only 26 months.

There is no way I could have anticipated the speed and impact of this amazing journey of restoration! Yes, it took my own contribution of sweat and finances, but at each step of the process, I felt like God was opening doors for me and speeding the process.   Experts couldn't wait to help me.  Money just showed up when I needed it.  In retrospect, this really is miraculous!

I got to take Dad for a ride in the car while he was still on this planet. I got to take Uncle Toronado for a ride as well. That is truly remarkable, and I need to linger on its significance.

 Dad would have loved being in that parade, riding with the Grand Marshal!