Intentionality and the Unexpected

So, I need a new gas tank.  OK.  Oh, by the way, the engine isn't really "done" yet...  as I was reminded by Mr. Mechanic yesterday.  I'll need a new water pump.  Oh, and I need the rocker faces resurfaced.  Oh, and the exhaust manifolds should be resurfaced.  Expect another bill from the machine shop.  This wouldn't be a problem normally, but it's been an expensive summer for my family.  I'm feeling a little annoyed - this doesn't fit with my plans.

This is the nature of car restoration.  It is also the nature of recovery.  "Plans" are really noting more that loose guidelines, statements of intent.  I NEED to state my intent, that in itself is a good thing.  But, I need to know it is not a schedule, and the real test of my character is how I respond to the unexpected. 

I tend to invest a lot of myself in my plans.... working out in my mind how to make things right, to make my little part of the world better.  I commit myself to these plans, budgeting my time and $ to them.  But, of course, I build my plans in ignorance, and when reality collides with my plans, I get annoyed.  Then depressed.

Perhaps God is telling me to let go of something.  Again.  What do I need to let go of?  Well, I don't think it is my intent.  God has blessed my intent to restore this car.  He has blessed my intent to live a sober life.  Perhaps, he is asking me to let go of achieving this intent on my own terms.  I know how to live with intentionality, I've done it before.  Things come up, unpredictable things.  I don't need to get annoyed, I just need to let go of my ego, my schedule, my timeline.  I need to trust, even though I remember past failure.

I had a dream this morning.  I was driving the t-bird along the coast with my wife.  The top was off, and we were enjoying the sunshine and each other's company.  The condition of the car wasn't important.  I'll take this dream as a blessing, a confirmation of my intent, and accept it with gratitude.

Update 9/27: I snagged a new gas tank for an amazingly low price off eBay.  The seller had a delay in shipping it, felt bad, and sent it to me almost for free!  Why do I let myself get so worried?