Surge and Slack

This has been a week of emotional ups and downs, of surge and slack.

Last weekend, I started cleaning out the garage, packing away t-bird parts into boxes and putting them on the shelves.  My goal is to get everything off the floor and workbench, so I will have a clean place to work.  I think better when things are tidy.  With all the engine parts, chassis parts, trim parts, etc., the floor of the garage hasn't been clean in over a year.  I'm pretty much finished with painting parts, so I took down the dropcloth that was protecting the bicycles from over-spray.  I started packing away the paint and painting equipment.  I laid out some of the trim parts in long boxes.  I threw away a lot of old camping stuff to make room on the shelves.

I made a dent in the mess, but I have a long way to go.  While I recognize that this is the appropriate thing to do now, I found it strangely unsettling.  Perhaps I am subconsciously remembering the helplessness of growing up with hoarders, how the clutter used to drag me down and sap away all of my motivation.  This led my thoughts down a negative path.

I'm tired.  I want to be done with this.  I want to move on.

Sunday afternoon, #1 son and I visited a car show downtown.  We got there late, and parking was very difficult, but we stayed calm, persevered, and eventually got a close parking spot.  There were some very pretty cars, including half-a-dozen early t-birds.  I took a lot of pictures, and was inspired.    Here's an interior shot of a nicely restored '55.  Mine will be similar, but the wheel will be the color of the dash, and the body will be peacock blue.

Newly inspired, I decided to order the last big batch of parts to get the car on the road.  As I tried to put together this big, complex order together, however,  I found myself getting upset.  I was up after 1AM fretting about it, and still couldn't get the order out.  I couldn't make simple decisions, and when the shipping charges and tax were added in, I hesitated again.  Isn't there a cheaper way to do this?  Should I order from someone else?  My frustration turned to a kind of fear, and self defeat. Then I felt the helplessness grip me.  I was not in a very good place.   My wife had to drag me off to bed.

I had to let go of this for a while.  I didn't get the orders out until Tuesday.
The first shipment arrived today... here's a peek:

Carpet, Door Panels, Seat back panel

The blue square in the center is my reference body color card

Now I'm starting to feel good about having all the major parts I need to get the car roadworthy.  I'm eager to get the car back from the paint shop and start putting the car together.

I visited the paint shop today, and had enjoyable conversations with both Body Guy and Paint Guy.  Body Guy talked about his health issues, and the difficulty of running an honest business.  Paint guy again went over what I want him to do in painting the car.

The car has been at his shop for almost 4 weeks now, and there is no new paint on it yet.  I have to admit that I am disappointed that he hasn't made any better progress.  I mentioned my goal of taking Dad for a ride in the car while he is still healthy enough to do it.  This is something that Paint Guy understands.  His Dad is Body Guy, who at 91 years old just had a heart valve replaced.  Paint guy has been concerned about his Dad's health for quite a while.  After hearing my goal, he volunteered to move the t-bird up his priority list.  I think that I will need to visit the paint shop on a weekly basis, and remind him of this.

I'm really trying to honor my new relationships with Paint Guy and Body Guy, while at the same time articulating my own need for progress.  I don't want to obsess and become insensitive, but I don't want feel like I'm abandoning this project either.  I'm looking for balance.  Aren't we all?