Patience, Trust & Willfullness

After I brought the t-bird home from the shop that had been storing it,  I realized that a large number of parts were missing.  Ebay is a wonderful thing... I was able to find many of the parts I needed, and I started bidding on them with gusto.  Doing this gave me a sense of progress, of motion toward my goal, a sense that I was doing something rather than waiting.  Waiting bugs me. So I acquired a few items the car didn't have: a water pump pulley, a radiator bracket, a hood latch rod...

I got a call from the shop last week.  They found a box of parts that should have gone with the t-bird.  I picked up the parts Wednesday.  Guess what?

Did I make a mistake?  I spent over $100 on these duplicate parts. Am I being too aggressive and controlling in pursuing this restoration?  Am I being obsessive and compulsive, blind to the bigger picture? Am I trying to compensate for past hurt and feelings of inadequacy by rushing in to "fix" this car?  I LIKE feeling a "sense of progress", but this need for activity has often hurt me in the past, and the need for continual gratification has played a central role in my addiction.

I need perspective and discernment, both with this restoration and with my own recovery.  I want to be able to let go of the unimportant things, yet be ready to take action on the important ones.  I've had problems with "majoring in the minors" before.  I want to be open to what God provides, but I know I need to hold on to my life loosely.  I will continue to monitor eBay for the parts I need, but with a different urgency.  I will continue to pursue my recovery, but I won't try to control it.  Let me dwell in God's grace and peace, and make decisions only from that place.

I'm reminded of the Serenity Prayer.  God, please give me "the wisdom to know the difference".