Humility

There are some things I just can't do myself. Then there are the things I can do, but shouldn't try.

Most people seem to recognize this in themselves and come to terms with it early. I, on the other hand, tend to see anything I could do myself, but don't, as a weakness in myself. I have hard time letting go of it. I think that my Dad is often the same way. I remember him steadfastly refusing to call a plumber or handyman or painter to fix anything around the house when I was growing up, even though he rarely had the time, energy, or patience to perform repairs. It is that attitude that caused us to live with a clogged kitchen sink for nearly a decade, and a leaky roof for most of my childhood. That is how pride leads to neglect.

My wife is a very tolerant woman, but she recognizes my limitations and, at times, holds me accountable. When stretched beyond my limit, I get quite irritated and unpleasant. I also realize that my time is valuable, and I hate to waste it. If I'm not having fun fixing something, then it is doubly wasteful! It's with this understanding that she suggested I find someone to install the new windshield I purchased, replacing the broken one.

Since I was directly responsible for breaking the last windshield, this was actually was a relief. Windshields are expensive, and I really don't want to break another one. I managed to let go of my macho mechanic pride, and call a classic Ford restoration shop that was recommended by my local t-bird club.

The owner, "Ford Guy", proved to be quite knowledgeable and a huge fan of early thunderbirds. #1 Son and I took "Nell" to his shop last Friday, by God's grace just missing some heavy rain showers (the car has no wipers or side windows). The shop is full of t-bird memorabilia, including numerous neon signs, murals, and a cut-away Y-block engine! There was a beautiful woodie wagon in the shop, and a peacock blue '56 bird on the lift. My kind of place!

The staff seemed rather taken with "Nell" and her story, and I got many encouraging complements. Ford Guy made me feel quite comfortable leaving the car with him. He understood and approved of my minor modifications, and seemed to appreciate my priorities for making her a reliable road worthy driver. We talked about things on the car that I was unsure I could address. Besides the windshield, I asked him to fix the speedometer, install the side windows, and align the doors. I left feeling a little humble but well cared for.

Standing in the empty space in my garage the next day, I reflected on my feelings about letting this go. I could have fixed all of these things myself... Maybe. But it would have taken much longer, and I would have been frustrated. I might have saved money, but I must confess that a "free" weekend has real value, too!

It was a false economy for my Dad to put off home repairs. The damage caused by the leaky roof, along with all the deferred maintenance, significantly reduced the value of the house when he finally sold it. He got just a fraction of its potential value. Worse than that, he created an atmosphere of neglect in that house that permeated everything, including my soul.

I don't want to be a spendthrift, nor do I want to be lazy, but I think God occasionally calls me to be extravagant with the blessings he has given me. After all, he lavished extravagant grace on me when he redeemed me! I don't have to sell everything and give my money to the poor, but I do think I need to be responsive to the relationships God puts in my life. I occasionally need to be ready to pour trust into those relationships, and that might require letting go of some pride and some money. I'm learning to be OK with that.

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