Restored Heart

As I gazed at the t-bird this evening before leaving Uncle Packard's garage, I got a surreal yet serene feeling.  Not necessarily a feeling of accomplishment, but a feeling that I have been blessed.  The engine is safely nestled in the engine bay, the transmission is connected, the brakes are done, the steering column and wheel are installed and working... this is becoming a car, becoming what it was meant to be.  I feel more like an observer, watching this happen, than the man trying to push this project forward.  5 men were involved today, each sharing a part in this project, each finding satisfaction in the relationship the day provided.

There is still a lot to do before this car runs: finish the fuel lines, install the exhaust, overhaul the electrical system, install and adjust the throttle linkage, install the radiator & hoses and fill with coolant, install a temporary seat.  But these are minor things, not major.

Sitting on the floor of the car, with the wheel in my hands, I realize how far I have come as a person since I first installed this engine in this car, 38 years ago.  I was pretty lonely then, and I didn't feel like I had anyone I could count on to help me.  I was insecure and depressed.  I wanted desperately for this car to run, but by the time I sold it I was just hurt and angry.   I was ready to move on, and bury my dreams for the car with other bad childhood memories.  I left it with a lingering sense of inadequacy, but I left it.  It took decades for the memories of my hopes for this car to wane, along with the vague sense of shame about how I handled them.

I am not the man I was then.  I have been willing to open up my hurts, to share them so that they can heal.  I have been willing to do disassemble, to wire brush, and to rebuild the parts of my character that needed it.  I have suffered some disappointments as replacement parts didn't fit.  Most importantly, I have been willing to continue, one day at a time, taking positive steps. Today, I am reminded that I have the opportunity to make a new start.  Not alone, but surrounded by people I know I can trust... my son, my uncle, my friend the mechanic, and another eagle scout from my son's troop.  

The engine arrives at Uncle Packard's garage in Mr. Mechanic's truck.

Yesterday's work prepared the engine compartment for the engine.  Note that the steering column and battery are installed.

All hands were involved swinging the engine into position, so we only thought to take a picture once it was almost in final position.

This is what a Thunderbird engine compartment should look like! 

Returning an engine to a car is soothing to the soul.  There is something inherently right about doing this.

#1 son really likes the glass bowl fuel filter.

A shot from the radiator's point of view.

Carburetor installed.

Temporary air cleaner installed.  I have a stock '57 air cleaner that I can install once it has been re-chromed.

The valve covers sort of match the new master cylinder.

I spent several hours under the car hooking up the speedometer cable and shifter.

Celebration shot!

Just like an old-time barn raising, and engine can't be installed by one man working alone.  The most important aspects of my own recovery also couldn't have happened if I attempted them alone.  There are things that men just know have to happen in a group, and we are inexplicably drawn together during those occasions.  I'm delighted that I had the opportunity to share this event with men who are meaningful to me.